Resident Evil 5 DLC Review

Written by JB Monday, 08 March 2010 13:04

Capcom served up a fresh dish of dlc goodness with 2 new missions for Resident Evil 5.  Look, it's a DLC not released a week after the retail title!  Oh, and it's worth every penny.  Featuring 2 new missions, new collectible figurines, and new achievements this is exactly what DLC is supposed to be.  Oh yeah, and it's not a complete ripoff that could have been in the original game.

The DLC's two missions are the big sell.  They patch up holes in the story and give you a better glimpse of the things happening prior to and during the RE5 story.  The Heavy Metal costume for Chris is offered, as well as the pinstriped Business costume for Sheva.  I guess they're alright.  If you wanted to see one of the guys from the Legion of Doom and a skinny Oprah killing most of West Africa, then this is right up your alley.

Affirmative action broke up Hawk and Animal

Desperate Escape puts you in the shoes of used-to-be-really-hot Jill Valentine and super-Nubian Josh Stone, in an aptly titled desperate escape attempt.  Interracial buddy-cop act Chris Redfield and ultimate AI retard Sheva Alomar, have just pulled the mind control thing from the stretch-marked breast of Jill Valentine, and are hot on the trail of Wesker.  After encouraging the fist-pounding uber-bro Redfield and Jungle Girl to leave her, Jill is waken up by Josh Stone- who is in turmoil while trying to leave.  What happens next is three-hours of flying shells and more stabbings than a mexican prison.  You encounter wave after wave of infected enemy.  Sound pretty casual?  You don't know shit.

Playing without the two main characters leaves you without any good guns, hardly any ammo, and probably out of practice with the game.  Get used to melee attacking to conserve that ammo.  Get those undead africans on the ground and watch Jill drop to both knees to give them a big sloppy finishing attack.  Jill's got a lot of miles on her it seems, but she still remembers she can use her knees for fighting, too. Stone delivers a Rock-inspired elbow drop that pulverizes them immediately, more black on black action than a gangbang at the Apollo.  Oh, and a lot of those enemy are "Uncle Phils", the humongous, fat black Najini that take a lot of damage- and some of them armed with miniguns.

That's not the worst of it.  Running amok through the levels are also the instant-kill Chainsaw Najini.  One hit and it's game-over cutscene time, and they're everywhere.  It might be hard to see with the flaming crossbow bolts and molotov cocktails exploding all around you, so listen for the saw's engine over the jungle chants of the infected.  They're not quite as tough as in the retail, but you don't want to see them anywhere.  By the time the episode ends on a rooftop, you may be able to breathe again- but this add-on is intense and often insanely difficult.  F'ing perfect.

Kill him, then put the bag over Jill's head