Nintendo Waterboards Fat Kids

Written by JB Tuesday, 16 February 2010 17:07

Sometimes I can't decide if Nintendo is actually trying to keep kids healthy, or if they are behind a Kauffman-esque prank to alienate fat tubs of shit. Chubsters and watersports have always been natural enemies; nothing makes the obese more uncomfortable than anything water-related. A mystery to many, I think the reason may have to do with being ridiculed without mercy when they bare their fat bodies. In a panic defense, many tubbos have resorted to wearing a t-shirt while swimming; turning ridicule into brutal humiliation. Defending against ridicule by looking like a 50-year-old mother of three at a wet-t-shirt contest? There has to be a better way...

Water Puts Fat Kids in A Wet Cotton Prison

Enter Watersports. Nintendo will finally let fat kids peel off their XXXL Big Dog t-shirts and jiggle their titties like a camgirl. Good job Nintendo, way to tease the obese with more pretend sports they can never do in real life- and increase your revenue when every kid with an overactive thyroid tries to stick a heelside 540 onto a thin expensive piece of plastic. I can't wait to get on YouTube when this shit is released.